have you ever bonked your head
and within a nanosecond
unexpected tears are streaming outa your eyes?
and was there a moment of embarrassment,
even though nobody saw it,
even though it really didn’t hurt that bad?
and then was it like those spring-loaded tears were some sort of trigger for all the sadness you have ever had in your whole life, and possibly everybody else’s?
you know,
historical sadness.
cascading.
and then did you just go off on some crazy
woe-is-me-and-the-world
head (bonk) trip?
and then did you think,
jeez, what is all this sadness in me?
did my Denial Part get knocked loose?
(i believe it’s the fibus itellmyselfus).
and then did you wonder if it’s just a big
bitchslap from god
or your subconscious
or
Fill In The Blank,
shaking you to
Wake the Fuck Up?
screaming,
Get A Clue!
Here’s A Door Upside Your Head!
There’s Plenty To Cry About!
Open Your Eyes, Dumbass!
and did your Main Man sense that you were inconsolable and offer an ever-lovin’ hug
but then wisely steered clear for a while?
did your dogs turn it around with their looks of pity
so that it is
you
who is the poor mangy rescue?
then did you get the bright idea to clean out That fucking junk drawer positive that this enormous act of ditching crap will relieve suffering by restoring order to a 12 x 14 x 8 pocket of the universe? and did you marvel that all that crap strewn around the room ever fit in that stupid drawer? did your housekeeper come in and scold you, i just cleaned this room, which flooded you with so much bourgeois guilt that you had to go lie down?
have you ever had this happen?
just checking.
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8 comments:
Do I ever feel like I'm living in a parallel universe with someone half-way across the world?
-Bitch-slapped by god.
OMG why've you been keeping this shit from us for so long?
No man never felt that before. You r so fucked!
dear friggy,
yup,you've summed it up nicely.
who are you?
you have a housekeeper?
dear minga,
i know! can you believe it?
crazy, right?
wait a minute.
is this a comment on the tidyness of my house
or the luckiness of me?
who are you?
love,
f
remember-God don't like ugly-and that goes for hair too
dear fonda,
i was commenting on both the tidyness of your house and the luckiness of you for having a housekeeper. i would die to have a housekeeper. you should've kissed her feet when she scolded you for dumping the junk drawer. of course, i guess that does depend on how well she does her job...
who am i? i am minga mars, and i want a housekeeper.
love,
mm
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